Class Rep Catastrophe

This is my daughter’s fourth year in school, she is in Year 3. Why do they make it so confusing, can’t they just make it year 4? Anyway, so far I have successfully dodged the bullet for dreaded class rep as some other sucker/Alpha Mum/perfectly nice helpful and organised person has wanted to do it.  This year, we are three weeks in AND STILL NO ONE HAS VOLUNTEERED!

I am feeling the pressure. I don’t work, I have 2 kids (as opposed to 3 or 4) and, mainly, I haven’t been rep yet. I can feel eyes on me. About a week ago I stupidly confided in a friend that I was feeling the pressure. Said “friend” thought it would be hilarious to therefore tell the outgoing class rep to talk to me as I was keen. Ha bloody ha. Fucking hilarious. I stood spluttering, cornered, in the playground, blabbing about how terribly forgetful I am and how I hate organising things and how I really REALLY didn’t want to do it.  Outgoing Rep seemed to take this as a sign of apparent modesty, or else just didn’t give a shit and wanted to pass the baton on at all costs. “Oh, you’ll be great!” she smiled, “it’ll be the making of you!”

I must have looked so terrified she then took a step back and, looking a little confused, and undoubtedly concerned about my mental health, said not to worry about it, she was sure someone else would step in. Great, now I look like a lazy bitch and a psycho. So that was a week ago, and I have spent the last 7 days hoping, praying, someone else would answer their calling and enthusiastically jump in. No such bloody luck.  Meanwhile, word has been spreading, and several mum-friends have given me a nudge and a wink, “I hear you’re class rep?” I have been truly stitched up. So today I finally cracked and said I would do it. What other choice did I have???!! Arrrghhh!!!

So I’m going to have to get my act together. This was, in fact, a resolution for this new school year anyhow, but it hasn’t got off to the best start. So far I had to have 3 reminders from the, frankly, terrifying school receptionist to pay £16.20 dinner money.    I also missed the deadline for returning the letter for violin lessons.  Perhaps this was fate intervening to save me from the tortuous practice I will have to endure?Even so, the lessons are free and part of the Y3 curriculum so it’s not really something you don’t do.  I had a humiliating lecture from the school receptionist about how I had missed the deadline and she would have to contact the violin lesson providers ESPECIALLY for me to see if they could perhaps, just this once, make an exception to the deadline. I stood in the office, palms sweating, feeling tearful that daughter might be the only one in her class to miss violin lessons because her stupid mother couldn’t be arsed signing a form in time. WTF is wrong with me? Why can’t I be more organised?

I have also had to pop into the office on two occasions with a PE kit and a fruit snack, respectively, that were forgotten in the morning rush.  The morning rush, incidentally, that involves us racing into school, just in the nick of time every morning. I am pathologically late.  These are not isolated incidents, this is generally how I have scraped by over the last three years.  Interestingly, at no point have I set my alarm earlier/packed bags at night/made myself a foolproof filing system; I’ve just carried on bumbling along.  So, you can see, I am perhaps not the best qualified rep out there.  But I have promised that what I will undoubtedly lack in reminding our class of dates, times and events and generally being a fount of all school knowledge, I will make up for in organising lots of mums nights out.  Here goes… 😁😁😁😁



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